Saturday, December 6th — Leaning Learning

Today I Learned…

…that I shouldn’t lean up against things when I’ve been drinking.  At the ugly holiday sweater party I went to today (pictures forthcoming of my hideously ugly sweater), I leaned (leant?) up against the following:

• Nothing, causing myself to fall backwards a foot in the elevator
• A glass vase, causing it to fall to the floor and shatter, and giving the host a cut in the process
• The light switch in the kitchen, causing several people to think that it was last call or something

Yeah.  So not so much with me and the leaning anymore.

Friday, November 14th — Tequila Diamonds

Today I Learned…

…that scientists in Mexico have created diamond-like conductive substances from tequila.  You figure, hey, work with what you have, right?

By heating tequila blanco in a low pressure environment, the researchers were able to create thin films with a diamond-esque crystalline structure.  These films are very useful in products which require harsh conditions or high ambient temperatures to work properly for which silicon would not be an option.  These tequila crystals are not the first synthetic diamond films produced, but they are the first from any alcohol (not just spirits, but /any/ chemical alcohol).

Materials science FTW!  And diamond shots for everyone!

Wednesday, October 15th — Investment

Today I Learned…

…what you should have been doing with your money over the past year.

If, one year ago, you had purchased $1,000 worth of stock in the following companies, this is how much money you would have now:

Delta: $49
AIG: $33
Lehman Brothers: bupkiss

However, if you had used the entirety of your money to purchase beer in aluminum cans, drank all of the beer, and then turned in the cans for the deposit (assuming you live in a deposit state like I do in New York), you would now have $214.

Friday, September 26th — The McCainarita

From Alex, and inspired by the first presidential debate of the season.

Today I Learned…

…how to make a McCainarita:

3 parts rum
3 parts tequila
1 part lemon juice
6 parts apple cider

Mix liquors in a cut crystal goblet with the silver spoon taken from your mouth at birth. Promise to cut both taxes and spending while adding lemon juice and cider. Add ice drilled out of the pristine Alaskan landscape. Tell your guests it’s a margarita, then insist that you never said that.

If Alaskan ice is unavailable, use Russian ice – it’s pretty close.

The McCainarita: It’s a margarita – that lies.

Also… for your enjoyment, the 2008 American League East Division Champion Tampa Bay Rays.

Saturday, September 20th — The Korean Drinking Game

Today I Learned…

…the Korean drinking game!  Everyone sits in a circle with a beverage.  One person says a yearbook-style superlative, like “most likely to be successful,” or “most likely to die in a manner which would get them on the front page of the local newspaper.”  Then everyone taps on their knees for a three-count, then points at the person they think fits the statement.  The person who gets the most votes must drink.  However, if you think that you will get the most votes, you may block by crossing your arms over your chest.  If you block and get the most votes, everyone who voted for you has to drink.  If you block and didn’t get the most votes, you have to drink.

Obviously more fun if you have a bunch of people who all know eachother fairly well, but still.  Good times.

Thursday, August 14th — Kahlua

Today I Learned…

…a recipe for homemade kahlua.

1 quart water
2 1/2 cups sugar
3 tb instant coffee
1 tb vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups vodka

Bring water, sugar, and coffee to a boil in a saucepan.  Simmer /slowly/ for 3 hours.  Mixture will be very dark and syrupy.  Allow to cool, and add vanilla and vodka.  Makes 7 cups.

I haven’t tried this, but I plan to soon.

ALSO: The Olympic gymnastics scoring system is biased against the Americans and in favor of the Chinese.