Today I Learned…

…how to total my car.  It’s very easy, actually.  Just have the car two cars in front of you stop at a green light because they missed their on-ramp.  Then plow into the Volvo in front of you.  That pretty much does the trick.

Nobody was hurt except for the Tardis, which is pretty much done moving through time and space under its own power.  More details coming as they warrant.

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Today I Learned…

…that the phrases “sexual theoretics” and “don’t get female on me” are lines that I’ll be saying in the Actors’ Workshop Meisner Showcase this semester.  Straight outta the mouth of a fifteen-year-old Dawson (of Creek fame).  Awesome.

…I also learned that GEICO doesn’t consider your car in your driveway unable to move an “emergency” for the purposes of their emergency road service.  That’s okay, I just moved my car down the street, and they towed it from there.  That pothole took a big chunk out of the underside of the Tardis (named thus because it is blue, moves through time and space, and is bigger on the inside), and hopefully it is not in its last throes.  Send my beloved car some good mojo!

Today I Learned…

…what was making the huge banging sound in my car and how to fix it!

There is an old rusted bolt that has come loose that is supposed to be holding one end of the engine to another part which is then attached to the frame of the car.  Without that bolt, the engine itself rattles up and down and hits the top of the hood when it’s running.

I re-attached the bolt as best I could, and it fixed it for a while.  However, the bolt came loose again when I drove to and from work this evening, so I’m going to have to get a new one and maybe even make a new hole for it.  However, between that, spraying some slippery stuff on my serpentine and fan belts to make them squeak less, and adding some oil, I got really greasy hands and felt stereotypically masculine.  My mom took a picture and she’s going to send it to my dad, who’s a body man.  I figured nothing would scare him more than me looking over a car engine trying to fix it.

Today I Learned…

…how to replace a set of headlights.  Loyal readers will remember from a few days previous that my passenger-side high beam was not working.  Well, I went to your local auto parts superstore today and purchased a brand new pair of lamps, along with some fuel system cleaner, and proceeded to install them when I got home.  After some fooling around with trying to pull some things off which didn’t need to get removed, I finally managed to figure out where they should go.

It seems that the lamps themselves are attached to an assemblage which enters the headlight enclosure from behind, under the hood.  At least on my car (a 1993 Toyota Tercel), there’s a small black plastic ring which locks them on — once this is removed, the assemblage pulls out and you can remove the bulb.  I did so — and voila!

…My high beams still didn’t work.

Turns out that one of the wires that fed into the lamp harness had split.  I was able to reattach it using a wire nut: a small plastic cone with a metal interior into which you feed both pieces of the broken and stripped wire and twist to reconnect them.

…My high beams still don’t work.

There must still be some sort of break in the wire somewhere.  It can’t be a fuse or a relay because the other high beam is working.  Unfortunately, I’ve done all I can without paying someone else to fix it.  It wasn’t a total loss, as now my headlights work better than the ones that were there before, but it’s still frustrating that I wasn’t able to fix it myself.

Today I Learned…

…that the passenger-side high beam headlight on my car is out.  Thanks Cayuga Heights policeman at 1:30 in the morning!

*grumblegrumblemoneystupidcargrumble*

As a discussion starter, what was your last run-in with the police like?  And do you think I should buy a scooter to get around instead of my car?